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| Can men and woman be just friends?, Posted On - 4/10/2007 2:09:56 AM |
I’m sure, more or less, every one has stressed over this question: Can men and woman just be friends?
Well, the question is complicated. Surveys show that many romantic relationships start off as friendships. But this may be because one person is attracted to the other and chooses a let’s-be-mates rather than a direct approach.
What the poll says
A poll by the woman’s website handbag.com found overwhelming support for the idea of men and women being platonic friends. But nearly half the women said some male fiends were ex-lovers and one third of women secretly lusted after their male fiends but didn’t act on it.
Men are also likely to be attracted to their women friends – a survey by MarketTiers of 1000 people in the United States found that one third of men fancy one close female friend.
Laws of attraction
Some psychologists believe cross-sex relationships can be platonic because of the phenomenon of friendship attraction. Others believe that there is always a fancying bit that has to be ignored for the friendship’s sake.
The longer the friendship, the less likely it is to develop into a sexual relationship. A study of 120 students by Vickie Harvey at California State university found that while some friendships start out as testing grounds for relationships, that moment usually passed.
When to panic
If you are in a situation where your guys goes out alone with his office ‘girl’ colleague, then is there a need to hit the panic button? Well, you have to first know if he’s the kind of guy who would get involved in casual flirting.
You’ll have a good idea of whether your guy is one of them by simply inviting yourself along with them some evening. If he takes you along without hesitation, you can be rest assured that his and his colleague’s friendship is just platonic.
You can also watch out for warning phrases such as ‘I told X all about our fight’ or ‘I told X about your new lingerie’.
No one likes a cross-sex friend knowing personnel stuff. You may want to take preventing measures, asking him about his work and interests. Basically, be a mate yourself.
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